To whom it may concern,
I recently purchased a bag of M&Ms from a vending machine at my university’s library. However, because of a bout of overzealousness, I poured the entire package into my hands, confident that the tasty chocolate morsels would quickly be consumed. Unfortunately, at the time I was not very hungry, and found that I was unable to finish the whole bag. Rather than waste the perfectly good pieces of candy, I decided that I would not be remiss in saving them for later, despite having no package in which to keep them.
I had grown up believing firmly that M&Ms “melt in your mouth, not in our hand,” as the slogan goes, and was sorely disappointed to learn that this is not the case. It was a particularly cold day, and to avoid the cold I placed my hands (each containing a handful of your products) in my jacket and continued on my way, confident that I would be able to consume the candies later. However, after the twenty-five minute walk from the library to my apartment, I found myself hungry again, so I pulled my hands out of my pockets only to find a goopy mess of chocolate and colored dye. Furthermore, the pockets of my coat had turned an unpleasant brown color.
I consider myself a man of principle, and I have no desire for you to reimburse me for my damaged coat ($39.99) or send me a year’s supply of M&Ms (my address, incidentally, is 353 E 13th Ave, Columbus OH, 43201) or the like. I also understand that such a slogan has since largely disappeared from your records. Still, to be safe, I believe that you should air a series of commercials that point out that your candies may melt in either the hand or the mouth, given the right conditions.
Thank you for your time,
Michael
*THE CORPORATION'S RESPONSE IS IN THE COMMENTS
*THE CORPORATION'S RESPONSE IS IN THE COMMENTS
RESPONSE FROM M&M:
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. Weisgar,
In response to your email regarding M&M'S CHOCOLATE CANDIES.
Thank you for your email.
Our advertising slogan actually reads; "THE MILK CHOCOLATE MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH-NOT IN YOUR HANDS." The objective of our advertising is to acquaint consumers with the fact that the candies are neat to eat under average conditions because they have a thin sugar shell protecting the chocolate centers.
We believe that the "melting" you described pertains to the sugar shell coating of the candies. Sometimes the pure food colors will rub off when they come in contact with moisture in the hands -- especially if the candy is held for a while.
We're sorry to hear you were disappointed with your recent purchase of M&M'S CHOCOLATE CANDIES. Your information has been forwarded to our Quality Services Team.
We'll be following-up via first class mail. It should be arriving shortly. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
Have a great day!
Your Friends at Mars Chocolate North America
They evidently got a little lazy in the middle of writing my name.
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